My oldest son has always felt music in his soul. As a baby, his bouncy seat nearly catapulted him whenever music was played. He grew up on a steady stream of Abba, the theme song from Trading Spaces, and Shaggy (it wasn’t me 🤷♀️). And his moves just got groovier as he got older and picked his own style of music. Signing him up for dance lessons was a no-brainer.
Moms, if your son wants to dance, do your research. Ask around. Call the studios and ask how many boys they have enrolled. Don’t be afraid to ask for a trial class. Some boys want a class where other boys are dancing, and some boys don’t care. My son didn’t care, but we still researched and found a studio near us that understood that boy dancers aren’t just there to be a prop for girl dancers. Which, as they get older, boys naturally lift and spot girls as they jump, but we wanted a studio that understood how to train boys.
My son was around 7 when he started to dance, and he took all the classes: ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical. For those of you with younger boys, consider how patient and how energetic they are before signing up for ballet. By age 7, my son loved it. But my daughter at a slightly younger age hated ballet. She could not handle standing still and learning how to tap and point her toe when her toes already knew what to do.
When you have a son who dances, sometimes it feels like the girls get all the attention. Their costumes are fancier, they’re the ones getting lifted instead of doing the lifting. But other times, the boys get more attention. I found when we went to workshops, sometimes my son got attention even when others around him were better dancers, because he stood out as being one of only a few boys in the class.
If you’re nervous about signing your son up for dance classes because you’re worried what other people will think or if he will be teased, don’t let that stop you. It doesn’t matter. Will he get teased? Maybe. But will he find fulfillment in doing something he loves? Most likely, and that is what matters.
In elementary school, everyone knew my son liked to dance. He would do it in line, in the cafeteria waiting for lunch, and on the playground. We were used to hearing it overhead as he would dance across the playroom upstairs. One time we even heard the “slap, slap, slap” of wet feet tap dancing in the tub. Unfortunately, it was followed by a “wa-BAM”. It was one of those moments that as soon as he called out that he was okay, we couldn’t stop laughing, but it could have been a serious injury, so I don’t recommend it.
By middle school, kids got meaner and my son was teased about taking dance. It was bad enough that he decided to quit all together.
Someone once said, “He pirouettes down the halls— he’s asking to be made fun of.”
No, he’s just asking to be happy.
So, he played football. He played lacrosse. He stopped dancing in the halls (though we still heard his shuffle-step upstairs when he thought no one was around). As a mom, it broke my heart knowing he quit what he loved. He insisted he didn’t want to do it anymore (and nothing we said could convince him otherwise) but it was 100% because of how the boys in middle school treated him. And playing football and playing lacrosse made middle school easier. But he gave up a lot.
Thankfully, after a couple of years, he became a theater kid in high school and remembered how much he loved the stage and performing. He even danced again, and regretted ever stopping. While I wish he never felt like he had to, I loved that he finally felt comfortable enough in high school to do what he truly wanted to do.
Music and dance are for everyone. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. So if you have a boy with music in his soul who needs to let it out, encourage it.
