We did things a little differently when our second baby was born. We did not allow visitors in the hospital. This included grandparents, aunts, and uncles. This may be an unpopular choice among new parents, but it ended up benefitting us more than we expected.
After the birth of our first child, it seemed like our hospital room was a revolving door. I understood why. After all, I had just given birth to the first grandchild for both sides of our families. But with the revolving door came little sleep, little time to bond with my child alone and breastfeed, and little time to take care of myself. We had visitors from 6 AM to 10 PM and visitors who showed up unannounced. I went home exhausted. When I found out I was pregnant with our second, I proposed to my husband that we have no visitors. My husband understood. Did this go over well with our families? Not at all. But my soon-to-be family of four was what mattered most to me, and we stood our ground.
In the end, we found many benefits to having no visitors in the hospital.
We could bond with our newborn. Once our son was born, I was able to start breastfeeding him, and we did skin-to-skin contact. I did not have to worry about doing it in between visitors. When the lactation consultant came, I did not have to ask anyone to leave to have privacy. My husband brought our daughter to the hospital to introduce her to her brother, and it was a moment between just the four of us. It would have been overwhelming if we had more people in the room during those moments, especially for our toddler at the time.
We were able to prioritize rest and recovery. We had no late night, early morning, or unannounced visitors to worry about. I started laboring with my son at 5 PM, and he arrived at 5AM the next morning. By the time he arrived, my husband and I were going on 24 hours with no sleep. To say we were exhausted is an understatement. We were able to nap when he was sleeping during the day of his birth. I was also able to address symptoms I was dealing with after labor, especially since I had a VBAC.
Our newborn was able to avoid unnecessary germs. This was not the main reason we limited visitors, but it ended up playing in our favor. The flu was running rampant in the St. Louis area at the time of his birth. We did not have to worry about visitors being symptom-free prior to coming to the hospital.
We were able to focus on our baby’s health. When our son was 24 hours old, he was unexpectedly sent to the NICU. He couldn’t maintain his oxygen level and had to receive supplemental oxygen. We found out he had a birth defect and this brought on many tests and scans we did not expect. When the doctors came to talk to us, it was just me and my husband. We were able to have a conversation without being interrupted and go to the NICU to focus on our son instead of worrying about visitors. The reality is that complications can occur after birth to the mother or baby. It can be stressful when this happens, and having no visitors allowed us to focus solely on our son and his health.
Less Stress. Despite our son being in the NICU, I found it was still less stressful than when I had my daughter. I did not have to worry about unexpected guests when I was breastfeeding, visiting my son in the NICU, bringing visitors to the NICU, etc. We did not have to worry about who was going to come when or when we were going to sleep.
If you are considering no visitors in the hospital, I strongly suggest you talk with your partner and make sure you are on the same page. Make sure you tell your family and friends your boundaries prior to going into labor to avoid conflict while in the hospital or in labor. Whether you have visitors or not in the hospital, remember what is most important at the end of the day is you, your partner, and your children.
