If you had asked me five years ago what “self-care” looked like, I probably would have said something about pedicures, planning dinners out, or sitting in a coffee shop alone with a book that I picked because I wanted to read it.
Now?
Self-care is stepping onto my back deck for three minutes of silence while still wearing my slippers.
Motherhood has a way of shifting what we consider restorative. It’s not because we stop needing rest — it’s because the time and space available to get it changes. Right now, my life looks like raising 4-year-old twin boys who can go from sweet to stampeding in under ten seconds, an 8-month-old daughter who requires approximately 98% of my attention, running a private practice, and partially homeschooling. Most days feel like I am simultaneously:
- Managing 3 tiny humans
- Running a business
- Maintaining a household
- Remembering to defrost chicken
And doing all of it while someone is physically on top of me.
This is not a season with built-in breathing room. There are no spare afternoons. There are no last-minute date nights. There are no extra hands magically appearing when everyone needs me at once. And for a long time, I thought I just needed to push through — that if I couldn’t get real rest, then what was the point?
But that’s when I realized something incredibly simple and surprisingly life-altering:
I don’t need a full break. I just need a small pause.
The 5-Minute Reset
So lately, I’ve been practicing what I call The 5-Minute Reset.
Not a break.
Not a spa moment.
Not even relaxation, necessarily.
Just:
- Step away.
- Breathe.
- Return.
Three minutes on the deck.
Two minutes in the bathroom with the door closed.
Five quiet breaths in the pantry while pretending to look for the granola.
That’s it.
And the more I practice it, the more I’ve realized something important:
Something is enough.
Not everything.
Not perfection.
Just something.
I’ve even started teaching my four-year-old twins the word “overstimulated.”
We talk about what it feels like when our bodies and brains are too full.
They now tell me, “Mommy, I think my brain is too busy.”
And honestly, same.
Because here’s the truth I know as both a mom and a BCBA:
Micro-breaks help caregivers sustain energy, reduce emotional fatigue, and prevent burnout when days feel never-ending.
You don’t have to disappear to recover.
Tiny pauses make a difference.
A nervous system doesn’t need a vacation — it needs a moment.
And maybe this isn’t the season for:
- Long stretches of quiet
- A night away
- A slow morning
- A routine that stays the same two days in a row
But this is the season where I can say:
“Give me one minute. I’ll be right back.”
And then actually take it.
Sometimes I still come back tired.
But I come back regulated enough to keep going.
And right now, regulated enough is a win.
So if you ever find yourself standing on the back deck in slippers, breathing in the cold air like it’s oxygen for your soul — know you’re not the only one. We’re all taking tiny pauses in the middle of big lives, trying to care for our kids without losing ourselves in the process. It doesn’t have to look graceful or calm. It just has to be yours. And if all you can find today is five minutes — then five minutes is enough.
