A Heavy Sigh from a Single Drop Off Mom

Summer was coming to a close, and like every other mom, I started getting everyone’s favorite question: “Are your kids ready to go back to school?” Beyond the excitement of my girls, I could barely contain my own because this school year I’m finally earning the title of “single drop off mom”! It’s the end of an era after seven years of daycare, and my youngest will be joining her sister at her “big girl school”. While every new chapter with my oldest felt exciting, every door closed with my youngest feels final. My last baby who no longer wants to be a “little girl”.

As I picked her up on the final day, her school was having an ice cream party. I thought that was the perfect timing and perfect send off to enjoy some ice cream with her classroom friends to say goodbye. What I didn’t expect was to be met by so many familiar faces of all the women who had cared for my children lined up in the ice cream line. They shared stories and memories from all the years that my girls had walked those halls. As a working parent, I have been so grateful for these caring hands that I trusted so much to be there when I could not. As we walked out for the final time, we waved goodbye and I felt an overwhelming sadness for the day I had been looking forward to for so long.

On the first day of school, I took her to her new classroom with her older sister looking on from the hallway, giving her space to discover her new surroundings on her own. She met her teachers, found her name on a cubbie, and ran over to join some new friends in making art. I hugged her tight and lingered much longer than she would have liked. Hoping she would run back to me, ask me not to leave … but she didn’t. This is what every parent hopes for going to a new school. An easy transition without any tears. But for me, in that instant, she didn’t feel like my baby anymore. And I really wasn’t ready for it.

I sat in my car in silence and let out a heavy sigh. This day I had been waiting so long for had finally arrived. One school, one drop off, one set of school breaks, coordinated schedules, no more rushing to work. More time back in my day to feel like myself and give back to my kids as a mom with reduced stress. But with it comes that same finality, my youngest daughter is no longer a baby and I am no longer a daycare mom. That chapter has closed for the final time, and now I’m a single drop off mom.