Do you have time for self-care?
Y’all – I’ve had enough.
I’m tired. Tired of having to wake up and put clothes on every day. I’m tired of politics and fear about the world falling apart. I’m tired of trying so hard to parent well just to get yelled at by a kindergartener.
Things are tough right now.
In my job and in my personal life, I stress the need for self-care. Whether it is finding time to spend with friends or just stepping aside for 30 seconds (see my previous article: Self-Care, But Not What You Think about narrowing self-care to minutes), it is so important that we care for ourselves in order to best care for others. In order to be present in the moment, we need to have the capacity to take it all in.
But let’s be real – can we even do that?
Go take a walk! (I have no one to watch my kids so I can’t step away.)
Take a spa day! (I already work two jobs so my kids can play sports.)
Find a hobby you enjoy and prioritize it. (When? Between shuttling my kids to every activity, working, doing homework, making dinner …)
Eat right and sleep well! (I can’t afford to buy all of those healthy foods. Even if I could, when do I prepare those? And the screaming I will get from the kids when I present them with that?! I will sleep once my kid sleeps!).
Lean in on loved ones, friends and family, to support you and give you a break. (I don’t have a village. Sounds great, but I don’t have the time or the mental space to keep up with friends and my family is doing their best to stay afloat too.).
Oof. Self-care sounds great until we are so far under water that just rising to the surface for a breath is all we can manage. Hard, but real.
We have to realize that sometimes self-care is putting one foot in front of the other. It is whispering to ourselves that we are superheroes or knowing that we are breaking the cycle with each book we read over that alone time. Self-care can be not caring and letting ourselves wear the sweatpants or eat the Cheetos because our kids can see that we are strong regardless.
You also need to realize that you are doing it. And even when it feels like you are alone, you are not. You have quiet cheerleaders behind you, singing your praise that the next generation will have it even better. You ARE contributing. You ARE making a difference. You ARE worth the extra special thing just for you or the extra minute you can spare.
In the meantime, I would love to know how you celebrate yourself. No, not with a party or shopping trip. But how do you encourage yourself? How do you keep going without burning out? What do you tell yourself at night that gives you strength? Let’s hear it because someone else out there might have an empty space that your words will fill, at least for now. Until they find their own words.
