Have you ever had this after-school conversation with your child?
“How was your day?” you ask.
“Good,” they respond.
“What did you do?” you try again.
“Nothing much.”
Sound familiar? If this exchange feels all too common, you’re not alone. Getting your child to open up about their day can sometimes feel like pulling teeth, especially when they’re exhausted from school. But with the right approach, you can foster open communication without triggering big emotions.
Choose the Right Time
Right after school might not be the best moment to dive into a conversation. Instead, wait until your child has had a chance to relax—perhaps during snack time, on a walk, or while engaging in a low-pressure activity together. This gives them time to unwind and be more receptive to talking.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Encourage more thoughtful responses with questions like:
- What made you smile today?
- Can you tell me about a moment of kindness you saw or showed?
- What did you do today that was creative?
- Who did you sit with at lunch?
- Was anyone in your class absent today?
- What’s something you learned today that you didn’t know yesterday?
- Did you enjoy your lunch?
- What was the hardest rule to follow today?
- If you could change one thing about your day, what would it be?
- What made your teacher smile today?
- What made your teacher frown today?
- What kind of person were you today?
Share About Your Day First
Sometimes, sharing a bit about your own day can open the door for your child to do the same. By talking about what happened in your day, you create a reciprocal atmosphere where your child might feel more comfortable opening up about their experiences.
Respect Their Boundaries
If your child isn’t ready to talk, don’t push them. Let them know you’re there for them whenever they want to share. Respecting their need for space helps build trust and can prevent future meltdowns, encouraging ongoing communication on their terms.
If you’re still struggling to get your child to open up, try connecting first through a fun or relaxing activity.
Whether it’s playing a game, drawing, or simply spending quiet time together, creating a relaxed environment can make it easier for your child to share. Once the mood is lighter, revisit these questions and let the conversation flow naturally.
