Fellow moms: I started this as a letter to my son, but it became more of a letter to fellow moms as I don’t think I have the words to say or the desire to give up on this time. May we appreciate the magic of all of the stages of motherhood.
Dear Son,
As you approach your tenth birthday I am filled with both sadness and excitement for what is ahead. However, with your birthday right at Christmastime I can’t help but think about you nearing an age when the magic of Christmas may be something of the past. Soon, the magic that we have leaned so deeply into and worked so hard to create will be gone. You will understand that the reality of an Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Leprechaun, or Santa Claus is just not possible. While the mere thought of it breaks my heart, I know that this is simply a part of you growing up. Boy, has it been a joy to watch you grow.
While my heart breaks at the anticipation of these discoveries coming so very soon, might I suggest we don’t fully let the magic go? Isn’t there something magical that we stop and spend a day to give to each other, take time for each other, to eat together, and play games? Isn’t it magical that you search the store for a gift to give your brother and it feels almost as good to give as it does to receive the top thing on your list?
Don’t you find it magical that as we grow older together we get to move from a relationship that is fully dependent on me to a relationship where we can depend on each other? Where while I am still providing so much for you, I am finding myself spending nights and weekends filled with joy watching you exercise your skills, gifts, and talents at your sports and activities. Isn’t it magical that while I am not going to school and learning day to day, you get to come home from school and share with me what you are learning and teach me new things? Isn’t it magical that you are growing up at a time of greater acceptance and you get to show me what it is like to not question others because they choose to live a life so very different than yours?
I ache to think about losing the magic of these fictional holiday characters, but isn’t the real magic of who you are and who you are teaching me to be so much greater? We are not there just yet so I will continue to cling to these last moments of joy and magic in the holidays. When we get there, please know that while the magic of the holidays is gone, in so many ways we can find hope that the magic of what is real and present and important is just now beginning.
Son, you are magic. You bring greater joy to my life than I ever knew was possible. While the magic of the holidays seem to be gone in many ways, I am eager for the magic of what is ahead. There is something truly magical about watching you grow from a very dependent child to an independent young man. Thank you for sharing your magic with me daily. I am grateful that we get to embark on this life celebrating together.
