Moving to America at an early age meant transitioning from a country and community where faces resembled mine to being in classrooms and social environments where I was one of only a few Filipinos. Yes, even in my diverse neighborhood in the Bronx, NY!
As I eased into my teenage years, I immersed myself in shows like Saved By The Bell, snagging the most recent issues of BOP magazine, and obsessively watching Total Request Live, slowly and subconsciously learning about Western ideals of beauty.
Not knowing I’d be working at MTV News in the future, one of the most impactful shows I watched was an MTV documentary hosted by SuChin Pak about Asian women getting plastic surgery to create folds in their eyelids due to pressures to conform. I recall feeling sad and also empathetic as thoughts of surgery to obtain what I believed others deemed as “the most beautiful” features had crossed my mind in the past.
I recalled how I pinched my nose, applied the right eye makeup, and attached long eyelashes to look like the women I saw on television.
Adolescence is filled with the longing to belong, even if it means coveting features I didn’t have. With age came reflection and more self-love. A little therapy didn’t hurt, either.
It’s impossible to shield your children entirely from negative self-talk, but I vow to do my best to foster an environment of self-love to combat all the noise around them. My parents did their best and always gave me immense love, support, and encouraging words. While they continue to stand as my strongest supporters, even the most uplifting and positive parents cannot overshadow the thief of comparison and the flood of images and messages insinuating that you do not measure up to some illusory “ideal.” Moving to a brand new country was filled with new challenges that each of my family members had to traverse in our own way, and unfortunately, one challenge I had was learning to love the features that made me … me.
But now, as a parent myself, I aim to instill pride in my kids for their Filipino and Asian heritage. As bi-racial children, they possess some of my Filipino features – features that hold stories of my identity and resilience, as well as my ancestors.
I’ve rewritten my narrative.
To my Filipino features: thank you for anchoring me to my roots, your beauty, and your patience as I learned to love you. Thanks for making me beautiful! 🇵🇭❤️ #EmbraceYourHeritage #ProudToStandOut
