The nine months leading up to birth are full of eventful happenings. Hearing your child’s heartbeat for the first time, baby showers, gender reveals, and sharing the news with friends and family. By the time the baby arrives, the mother’s home and nursery are full, organized, and ready. A question that begs to be answered is why the rate of postpartum blues continues to climb? If all the preparation had been done, everything was in place, why do 80% of mothers still suffer from the baby blues and a portion of that group from anxiety and depression?
These words are not to confront but rather to encourage a deeper awareness and understanding of caring for the physical and emotional needs of a mother after her child is born. It’s a lost tradition in our modern culture, and to bring it back to life will bring more healing than imaginable!
10 tips for supporting a postpartum mother:
- Stock up her library: Here is a list of encouraging and informative books on how she and her community can support her body and mind as it transitions and heals. The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother, A Little Book of Support for New Moms and The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality
- Laundry: Shoot, it’s hard enough to keep up with the laundry without a newborn. Supporting a mother with little tasks around the home will help her use her energy to heal physically and mentally.
- Feed her and her family: This is a no-brainer, but I always recommend giving the mother 2-3 options and letting her pick what sounds appetizing and nourishing to her. Focus more on healing, whole foods, quality protein, and less on processed foods for her and her family.
- Dropping things at the door: If she wants you to come in, she will let you know. Most mothers are transiting to new routines, less sleep, learning how their baby communicates, and it can be stressful to think about having company over. Make it simple for her and drop things off with a well wish.
- Check on the spouse: Some mothers don’t know how to ask for help. In many cases, the spouse can give greater insight into what the mother needs. He’s transiting into a lot as well; make sure you’re checking on him, too. Does he need to get out of the house for a few hours while you take a turn watching the other children, doing the dishes, or tidying up?
- Give her other children attention first: This is a big stressor on many mothers. As most of their attention is on their newborn, they worry about their other children. It will bring her so much relief if someone can give her children some attention and love.
- Communicating tips: Consider texting rather than calling her, as it allows her to be intentional and respond when she’s ready. Maybe even let her know you’re thinking of her, and she doesn’t need to respond at all! I remember receiving a message like that, and now it’s how I end every text with a new mother!
- Month 2-4, they still need you: It’s been a few months, and her body is probably feeling back to normal, but this is the peak of sleep deprivation. Continue to check-in and show up to help with small tasks around the home. Let her know you’re there to help and not for her to entertain!
- Kind and uplifting words ONLY: She knows she looks disheveled, she sees her dark circles, and maybe she just didn’t feel like changing her baby-barf-shirt for the 5th time that morning. Ask questions and resort to encouraging words rather than making observations, even if it’s the truth!
- Don’t ask, do: Most of us recall a time when someone showed up without us even asking. You feel safe, understood, and incredibly grateful. Sometimes it can be very hard for a mother to ask for help, but in most cases, she will always take it!
