Mothering is all about grace. Sometimes when you lower your standards, you gift yourself grace.
My entire life, I’ve been a “yes” person. I’ve always thought I could take on one more thing, one more thing, one more thing. Room mom. Baby shower planner. Class representative. Trip coordinator. Even the little things. Things that plenty of other people could volunteer to do. But I was/am always the one to step up.
I’ve also always been a “yes” person to my own self. Yes, you can keep a clean house. Yes, you can be a Pinterest mom. Yes, you can cook gourmet meals for your family. Yes, you can work out 5 days a week. Yes, you can be a great dentist. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I’ve always been one to set the bar for myself WAY. TOO. HIGH. Yet constantly frazzled, overwhelmed, exhausted, and wondering what is wrong with me. Why can’t I keep up? Why can’t I keep all the balls in the air?
And I guess it took quarantine, a more simple way of life, to make me really realize how destructive this was. It took trying to run a small business, keep my kids entertained, keep a house clean, work out, cook, and maintain my sanity all under one roof to realize … it’s not possible.
Whether it’s quarantine, shelter in place, or life as we once knew it … NONE of that is possible! But it took me trying to juggle all of it, in isolation, to reach my breaking point and come to this conclusion. To wave the white flag, throw my hands in the air, and surrender.
So I’m here to tell you … lower your standards, momma. Just lower your standards. I know it sounds trivial or even a little too basic, but for some of us, it’s really hard to do. And we need someone to give us permission. As women, we assume that everyone else around us has it “all figured out.” We convince ourselves that everyone else is doing a better job than we are. Sometimes we just need to hear from another mom that it’s ok to lower the standards.
The minute you accept that your house is going to be messy, you can not return 15 emails and entertain your kids at the same time, it’s ok to feed your kids Easy Mac three nights a week, and if you work out twice a week, it’s a miracle— the minute you accept these obtainable realities, that’s the minute your life becomes FAR less stressful!
So put down the to-do list. Stop trying to mark things off. And lower your standards.
