Five weeks before the world shut down, we lost our baby girl. I was 32 weeks pregnant, and she was stillborn. Talk about shattered to the core! It was a pain I’ve never known … and I’ve known pain in my lifetime. My dad went into septic shock 30 days after my wedding, was admitted to ICU, and had portions of all four limbs amputated in a matter of 12 days. But the loss of your own child is a life-changing pain.
After five weeks of bereavement, I was ready to return to work. Ready to get out of the house. Ready to face my patients. Ready to face the questions and sad stares. Little did I know it would be for one day. Because the next day … the world shut down. Or, at least, St Louis did.
Suddenly I was forced into grief with the rest of the world. The only problem was … I was grieving on top of grieving. Trying to find my way through one loss while mourning the loss of anything else in my life that felt “normal.” I suddenly couldn’t have a girls night to get my mind off the loss of our baby. Or take a trip to see my sister to cry and scream with a person who “gets me.” I couldn’t even take my kids to the park on a really sad day when I just didn’t feel like showing up as a mom.
{Did you know that we’ve all been grieving during this pandemic? We’re grieving the loss of our life as we knew it— the freedom to travel, to move around freely, to visit with friends and family. We’re grieving the loss of friendly smiles and handshakes. We’re grieving the loss of human touch.}
Enter teletherapy! Aka: a godsend! Weeks before we were forced into quarantine I had started seeing a grief therapist. I was still stuck in a very sad place but felt that the world around me was moving on. To continue to discuss my sadness felt like I was bringing down those around me. If my loved ones were having a good day, I didn’t want to express my sad thoughts and bring them down with me. So I decided to start seeing a therapist … BEST DECISION EVER.
Nonetheless, when quarantine happened, everything (thankfully) went remote, which ended up being a huge blessing in disguise. Being able to talk to a therapist remotely may be the greatest thing since sliced bread! Even when the world opens back up and doctors become in person again, I may still opt for teletherapy.
Let’s start with the fact that I’m a HUGE advocate for therapy! Sometimes you just need to talk. Sometimes you just need to hear yourself talk. And sometimes, you just need a professional to agree with your own thoughts to be validated in knowing what you already knew. And now you can do therapy from the comfort of your own home … or car, or park, or back porch, or anywhere for that matter. Something about talking over FaceTime seems less intimidating. Plus, it’s more accommodating to a work schedule and leaves little room for excuses to NOT.
Teletherapy has saved my sanity as of late! And did you know that right now, most insurances are covering the copay at 100%? Because so many people are in need of conversation and counseling! I highly HIGHLY recommend if you’re feeling anxious or worried or sad or like you’re suffocating…it’s a GREAT time to consider teletherapy. The first place I would start is with your insurance. Check the back of your insurance card for a website or phone number to find a teletherapist in your network. Or check for an online therapist at one of these sites:
