What would your child put in a calm down box?
Emotions are hard.
Picture this: you are reading a fantasy book about warrior cats minding your own business, when your little brother bursts into the room to play with his noisy robot toy. You calmly plead with him to go somewhere else. He says no. You ask again, and he ignores you. You feel your face getting hot. Your heart starts beating faster. You scream at him and demand that he leave. He continues playing. You are really upset and don’t know what to do. Do you lash out and hit him? Do you cry for help? Do you run and get help? Your emotions are overwhelming, and you can’t think.
Kids need strategies for how to handle these situations. Little brother may be at fault, and he may need a lesson in boundaries and respecting other’s space. That doesn’t help you in the moment. What can you do to reset and calm down? One solution is having a calm down box at the ready. The items in the calm down box are meant to help you focus your attention on the items and help you reset your mood. It’s meant to help you calm down, so you can go back to your day or so you can talk about and process what happened.
What’s in My Daughter’s Calm Down Box?
An occupational therapist helped my 10-year-old daughter put together a kit for her to use when she needs help calming down. First, they figured out what things she enjoys and what helps her to feel calm. They made a picture book of items that included the categories of movement, touch, sound, smell, vision, and chew/taste.
In the movement category, my daughter chose drawing or coloring. Some people find movements like swinging, running, or spinning calming. Yoga would be another movement activity that some may find calming.
The touch category included things like petting animals, hugging, squeezing, or squishing.
For my daughter, the sound category included music, chimes, ocean waves, rain, and birds singing. What sounds help you feel calm and peaceful?
What smells help calm you down? My daughter said herbs helped her. What scents – lavender, chamomile, basil – help you?
The vision category included calming sights like reading a book, waterfalls, clouds, stars, lava lamps, and family time.
What tastes help you feel calm? My daughter chose chocolate, sour candies, cupcakes, and gum. This could also include items made for chewing.
From the created picture book, we chose tangible items to place in the calm down box.
Our calm down box items include:
–Drawing materials (pencil and marker to remind her to draw)
–Squishy toys (we have several types that all have a different feel)
–Fidgets (these are toys that move in different ways – some click, some bend, some roll)
–Headphones (noise-canceling headphones are in the box, but she can also grab her headphones to listen to music)
–Liquid timer (watching the drops fall is calming to many)
–Candy and gum (not pictured because they need to be replenished)
Once the calm down box is created, reminders will need to be given when it’s needed. “I see you are frustrated/upset, would you like to use your calm down box?” “I think you need to choose something from your calm down box to help you. Then, we can talk about this.”
My daughter had a sticker chart to help encourage her to use the calm down box. Every time she used the tool on her own, she got a sticker. When the chart was filled, she earned a reward. Now she is in the habit of using the calm down box on her own.
We also have a few calm down items in the car. Being trapped next to a sometimes annoying little brother is hard.
