We all can agree that being a parent is not an easy job. Caring for another human being for a minimum of 18 years and hoping they turn out to be halfway decent citizens sometimes seems like a daunting task. There is no manual that comes with your baby when you leave the hospital. If I am being honest, most days I am just winging it. If I can get at least one of the two children to eat dinner, to take a bath or not have to send one of them to their rooms, I’m marking that day down in the “win” column. The one thing I do know about parenting is that it takes a village, not a judge and jury to raise a child.
Recently I enlisted the help of my most trusted villagers. A group of women that love to keep it real. I asked them: What are some things you wish people would stop saying to moms or women in general? Let me tell you, these ladies did not disappoint.
#1 Any comments or questions regarding the gender of my children.
Sorry to disappoint, Karen, but I actually love being a girl mom. I wouldn’t want my family any other way. There is no such thing as a cookie cutter family. I don’t really care if boys are “so easy” or “so much fun”. No, I don’t want to try for a boy. Baby factory is closed, move along.
#2 “I could never leave my kids with strangers all day.”
What could prove my love more than being a stay-at-home mom, right? WRONG. I love my career. I love interacting with adults. However, I also love my children. I’m not closing my eyes and pointing to the first child care ad on Craigslist. Finding a caretaker for your children is a huge responsibility. Some of my closest friends have been caretakers for my children at daycare. Both of my children are #blessed with my attitude. If I had to stay home with those divas we would all need a break from each other by the end of the first week.
#3 “Is your husband/who is babysitting your kids?”
Well Karen, nunya. As in nunya business. First and foremost, my husband doesn’t “babysit”. My husband is an incredible man that understands that sometimes mommy needs a night out. Second, I assure you in any case that myself or my husband aren’t with our children, they are being more than adequately taken care of.
#4 “You’re so lucky your husband helps you around the house.”
Excuse moi? That’s really not how any of this works. Helps ME? I am far from a domestic goddess. My husband does laundry, cooks and cleans. Guess what? So do I. We are a team. If you think you are lucky that your husband helps you, you are not his wife. You are his housekeeper. This is not 1950. Why do we have such low expectations for a husband? Stop letting them off so easy.
#5 “When are you due?”
Never. I repeat NEVER, say this to a woman unless she has verbally confirmed in the current conversation that she is expecting. Just. Don’t.
#6 “I did such and such with my kid when they were little and they survived.”
Great, Karen. Thank you for the encouraging words. You didn’t put your child in a rear facing car seat or even a car seat at all? Awesome. Cars were made out of steel back in your child rearing days. Your kids also ate lead paint of window sills, Karen. Now all of our kids have to be lead tested. Thanks for that.
#7 “Smile”
No matter who utters these words, I will tell you a secret. It’s annoying! If I wanted to smile I would be smiling. Please don’t ever follow up this comment with the words, “you’re so much prettier when you smile.” You really don’t want to take the risk with me. See #3 above (I have an attitude problem).
Please don’t be a jerk. Mind your business. Build each other up, don’t tear each other down.
**This was just a dramatization, no Karens were harmed during the creation of this post.
