When I dreamed of becoming a mom, never could I have imagined that I would birth two babies, in two different countries, on two different continents, with an ocean between them. The births of my daughters were wildly different not only physically, but geographically as well. My first daughter was born in France, and my second daughter was born in the United States just two months ago.
Prenatal Care
In France, as in the US, your doctor plays a role in where you’ll deliver. A friend recommended an OBGYN connected to a private clinic, so he was in charge of my care up until my third trimester. The French system typically allows for one ultrasound per trimester, counting the second trimester ultrasound as the penultimate.
In addition to the monthly urinalysis I came to discover at my US prenatal appointments, the French system calls on expecting mothers to have blood drawn each month, specifically looking for instances of toxoplasmosis. I was never instructed to take a complete prenatal vitamin but simply the recommended universal dose of folic acid for expectant mothers.
A childbirth at the private clinic where my OBGYN worked was similar to the price of a US childbirth, so we chose to give birth in a French public hospital which is covered in full by the government, though a less luxurious option. We were charged for the private room we requested, but I was able to send that bill to my secondary “insurance” and they paid it all. Don’t read what I’m not saying – French healthcare is not free. They pay for their medical care with their taxes and it doesn’t come cheap.
Monthly prenatal visits are the norm in France, just as they are in the US. However, once I hit my third trimester, I began seeing an OBGYN on staff at the hospital weekly where I would deliver, and they performed my third trimester ultrasound as well.
Childbirth classes look similar to what you’d see in the US, though there is an added emphasis on a woman’s role in helping to avoid a vaginal tear, in specific massage of the perineum (I’ll let you read that at your leisure!)
Since public hospitals are funded by the state, packing your hospital bag gets a bit more complicated because you have to bring EVERYTHING, down to the heavy sanitary napkins you’ll need post delivery.
Labor and Delivery
Both of my labors started spontaneously, the first 5 days early and the second one day late. My doctor in the US started speaking about induction a week before my due date, which made me panic, whereas my French doctor told me at the onset that France’s policy was to let a mom go 5 days past her due date before discussing induction.
I requested epidurals with both deliveries, but the French anaesthesiologist arrived after three hours of incessant buzzing, as he was the only doctor on duty and there were six laboring moms ahead of me! By the time my epidural was in, it was nearly time to push. Not ideal. In America, I received my epidural within 30 minutes.
The biggest difference I found in the delivery process was that I never saw or interacted with an OBGYN in France. I was attended to by midwives during the entire labor process. I was surprised to find that my OB only showed up for the pushing and delivery here in the US and was gone as quickly as he came.
Immediate Postpartum
Post-delivery in France was difficult. I labored for nearly a whole day before the birth of my first daughter, so by the time she was born, I was exhausted. I was wheeled into my shared room with another mom and her newborn, where we proceeded to swap crying babies throughout the day and no cumulative sleep between the two of us. It was a recipe for disaster. France offers no nursery service at all and dads are not allowed to stay the night in double rooms.
I found the nurses took a somewhat hands off approach in the US and let us do our thing unless we buzzed for assistance. In France, the nurses scheduled activities such as diaper-changing and bath-giving demos to help educate new moms. Some of this was appreciated, some of it felt overbearing.
I took advantage of the nursery service for my US birth, and boy was that a game changer. I know there are lots of opinions on this, but I cannot deny how much it helped me to have a few hours of sleep and a fighting chance to recover. The difference in how I felt physically when we left the hospital was night and day. I couldn’t help feeling as though I was a bit ahead of the curve when we were discharged from the American hospital.
Speaking of, I was discharged from both hospitals with a packet of information on breastfeeding and life with a newborn, but the French packet included a prescription for birth control and a script for 10 sessions of pelvic floor rehabilitation (at no charge to me). I’ll tell you more about this in a future post, but I cannot stress how quickly the pelvic floor rehab sessions helped me get back to my pre-pregnancy self!
Long-term Postpartum
I cannot find the words to do France justice for their postpartum care. Before I was discharged from the hospital, I was given the information of a midwife who would come and check on the baby and I several times once we arrived at home. She checked on how I was healing, weighed the baby, observed a feeding session, and made herself available at all times to answer questions. I was so relieved knowing that I had a point of contact who had us on her radar and that we wouldn’t fall into the black hole of postpartum oblivion. I can’t say I felt the same after my US birth. I’ve had excellent postpartum care, but only because I had friends recommend resources to me. The only touch point I’ve had here with the medical community was my 6-week postpartum appointment.
It goes without saying that being in the same city as grandparents for baby #2 made the transition to a family of four much easier, as well as a generous meal train our friends set up for us! The French don’t typically bring new moms meals, so it was a huge blessing to have prepared food this go around.
In the end, I have two healthy daughters. I will be forever thankful to the maternity systems in France and the US for helping me safely deliver these little girls. I ultimately did have a preferred pregnancy and delivery out of the two, but we can chat about that over a cup of coffee someday if you’d like 🙂
