I’m discovering that life is a balancing act with most of us moms. That might mean trying to balance your household, work, friends, relationships, or traumas. It’s interesting to see that although as women we have many differences, there seems to be a common denominator when it comes to figuring out this thing we call life.
How do we find that perfect balance? Is there such a thing? Working in the beauty industry, my job mostly consists of listening to women, discovering what their needs are and making the perfect suggestions for them. It’s within these moments when I have a mom sitting in my chair, bare faced, free of makeup and their “perfect illusions,” where I find them to be their true, authentic vulnerable selves. I like to capitalize on this opportunity to truly get to know my client and build those lasting personal connections. More often than not, the conversation always consists of topics about work, love and life… and how to balance it! Often, the moms I’m servicing often feel guilty. Guilty for actually taking some time to pamper herself. In her mind, there’s always more “important” things she could be doing than what she’s doing for herself. Who can’t relate to that!?
Between being a single mom, working full time, running a business and going to school, it all seems impossible to me at times. Not to mention that a date night with a significant other or a night out with the girls feels next to impossible. Finding that balance is going to look differently for everyone. Personally I like to equate the word balance with the word equal – they go hand in hand. My children, family, friends (and let’s not forget myself) ALL deserve equal amounts of love and attention to create my perfect balance.
Taking time for ourselves is crucial to our overall well-being. While true that there are only so many hours in a day, I always try to remind myself that I deserve a couple of those hours for myself. I was having a conversation once with someone who is a bit older than me, someone whom I admire and respect very much. He looked at me and said, “ I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to say the first person that comes to mind and why you chose them… Tell me someone who you would literally do anything for?”
I was excited to answer the question because it had an easy answer! ” I said, “My mom. Hands down.” Then he said, “ That’s an amazing answer because I’m sure your mother is a wonderful woman who is very deserving of your response. However, why wasn’t your first choice yourself? You deserve that response as well and should always feel that way about yourself.”
I walked away from that conversation a changed woman. When I thought about it later, I considered how many people WOULD actually say themselves? Not too many, I’m sure. But why is that? We have all grown used to putting ourselves on the back burner, believing that if we put ourselves first that translates to being selfish. I no longer see it that way. I try to remember everyday to choose myself, because I AM worthy. YOU are worthy. Let that stick with you forever. It’s all a balancing act.
