Fluent in the Language of Love Despite a Language Barrier

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LOVE written in white paint with a red heart on a wooden fenceI recently took the 5 Love Languages assessment, and to be honest, it didn’t work. The test had me pegged as a Words of Affirmation type, closely followed by one who falls into the Physical Touch category. However, I do love spending Quality Time with the one I love, and very much appreciate when my husband notices that I’m stretched thin and jumps in with an Act of Service or two. But then there are Gifts … who doesn’t like gifts?!?

Strangely, every time I take the test, my love languages shift.  I guess it depends on my mood when I’m taking the test, but I very much want to be up on a pedestal, worshipped, adored, and desired by the man in my life. I am all five Love Languages in one needy package.

The man in my life, as far as I can tell, doesn’t HAVE a love language.  Granted, he’d never sit down to take the test in the first place. But when choosing my answers, I tried to imagine how he would reply. Mr. Self-Sufficient would choose C: none of the above.  Words of affirmation? He doesn’t need to hear any; confidence flows through his veins.  Physical touch? Sure, he enjoys it but he doesn’t need it, and certainly has no interest in slowing his steps so that I can catch up and hold his hand. Gifts?  This guy doesn’t even believe in birthdays, except for the actual day of birth. Acts of service?  They’re a nice thought, but he can do things better and faster on his own. And Quality Time?  Ehhh… he juggles a dozen things at any given moment, so while he has no issue pausing to spend time with me, his happiness doesn’t hinge upon it.

Apparently, I am multilingual in the language of love, while my husband has zero need to be fluent in any of the love languages … but he will converse in whichever one I seem to be craving at the moment.

 

And if that’s not love …

I don’t know what is.man smiling as he reaches back to hold a woman's hand as they walk down the street

 

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Carol Kerber
Carol is married with four kids, who range in age from 10 to 20-years-old. She moved to St. Louis when she was 12, and except for four years living in Southern California as a newlywed, she’s lived here since. As a Mizzou graduate, Carol began her post-college career in publishing, and then switched gears to teach early elementary. Since having kids, she has been lucky enough to stay home with them. The Kerbers call Castlewood Stables in Ballwin their home, and all of their neighbors run around on four legs. While this lifestyle seems a bit foreign to her nature, being part of the STL Mom team is just the opposite. Carol has always loved to write but had never really given that dream wings until now. Being part of the St. Louis Mom team fulfills both the editor and writer in her spirit, and she gets to write about what she knows best: being a mom.