Ravens flew overhead and coyotes yipped in the distance as we hiked around our property. The snow-capped mountain peaks stood proudly in the distance, watching our every move. The air was fresh. The forest was green. Our home was warm. And our family and friends were far away.
I grew up in Affton and have always loved St. Louis. My husband’s and my first house together was walking distance from where we got married – Oakland House. I worked at Highway 61 Roadhouse in Webster and Rooster on South Grand, and volunteered with nonprofits when I wasn’t working a shift at the South County Costco.
My husband and I decided to figure out where we wanted to settle down before having kids. We told ourselves we’d be happy if it ended up being St. Louis – we just wanted to see what else was out there.
We built a van into a tiny home, and for almost three years, we lived in wild pockets across the USA. We fell in love with several places, but New Mexico won over our hearts. We bought 40 acres of off-grid magic an hour outside of Taos.
The idea of our own well, septic, and a roof lined with solar panels excited us. The grocery store was an hour away. Our closest neighbor was a beautiful hike or a short drive down our rutted dirt road. We loved every moment of it – figuring things out all on our own. We chopped wood to stay warm, played our instruments as loud as we wanted to, and saw the Milky Way every night before we went to bed.
Early in 2021, our son was born. They say everything changes when you have a child, and that couldn’t have been truer for us. Driving two hours round trip for groceries became overwhelming. Chopping wood in between breastfeeding was exhausting. It took my mom two flights and a three-hour drive to come meet her first grandchild.
We were suddenly hit with the reality that we were very far from family, friends, and even a hospital.
That summer, we moved back to St. Louis. While house hunting, we looked at large properties near Byrnes Mills or down Route 21. We considered suburbs with large back yards or our old stomping grounds in Affton. Then, on a whim, we toured the city.
We looked at several homes in the Tower Grove/Shaw neighborhoods, and found ourselves shocked by how much we loved the area. The backyards were tiny compared to the space we had in New Mexico, but there was a 289-acre park!
This year will be 5 years since we moved back to St. Louis. We discovered that our dream of raising rustic off-grid kids was lovely in theory, but not quite what we wanted in practice. We went on to have a daughter and both she and our son have evolved to be very social kids. We can’t imagine keeping them away from the rest of the world just to enjoy a beautiful view and some silence.
It wasn’t just our kids, though. We found ourselves far more fulfilled surrounded by others than tucked away in the woods. We needed human interaction more than we needed our own private wilderness. We needed museums and attractions more than we needed views of the milky way. We needed loved ones we could see spontaneously, not just neighbors we had to plan to visit.
My husband and I stand on the sidewalk outside of our home, chatting with a neighbor while our 1-year-olds play together. Across the street, our 4-year-old runs around with six other neighborhood friends playing tag. Another neighbor tells us they are walking down to the corner store and asks if we need any groceries.
We loved our old home and our property, and we miss it deeply. It was exactly what we needed when we needed it. And now, this is what we need. Community right outside our doorstep. Hearing kids laughing and running around. Tasting delicious meals from local vendors every weekend at a park we can walk to. In a time when everyone is itching to get away and live on their own, we’re so grateful we decided to come back and live among others.
Jayme Serbell is a local digital marketer and writer living in South City with her family. After years of off-grid living in New Mexico, she returned to St. Louis, where she writes about the messy, honest parts of life. Her writing has appeared in HuffPost, and she’s currently working on a memoir. You can read more of her work on her Substack, Jayme Shares Things.
