There’s an ache no one talks about.
Somewhere between the carpool line, the sixth load of laundry, and the forgotten permission slip, a quiet ache can sneak in.
What about me?
It’s not that you regret motherhood. Nope, not for a second.
But even as you love the life you’ve built, there’s a part of you whispering:
You were someone before this. And she’s still in there.
As a mom of five, now a Lolli to three grandbabies, and a life and business coach for high-achieving creatives, I’ve lived the full spectrum of this. From full-time parenting to full-throttle coaching. From putting everyone else first to empty-nesting and learning how to come home to myself … again and again.
And if no one else has told you lately, let me be the one to say it:
You’re allowed to want a life that lights you up, even while you’re showing up for the people who need you.
Step 1: Ask What You Want… Without Apology
For years, I answered to everyone else’s needs. Schedules, snacks, rugby cleats. I was needed, and I showed up … fully.
But at some point, I realized I couldn’t even answer the question:
“What do I want?”
So I started asking. In small ways at first:
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What would feel fun today?
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What would give me more energy?
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What part of me have I been ignoring?
It doesn’t have to mean changing everything overnight.
But clarity starts with curiosity. And curiosity is a holy thing.
Step 2: Drop the Guilt … It’s Not Serving Anyone
Mom guilt is like glitter. It sticks to everything.
But I promise you this:
Your kids don’t need a martyr.
They need a role-model.
They need to see you living, not just managing.
They need to see you choosing joy, not just surviving the day.
The greatest gift I gave my kids wasn’t a perfectly packed lunch.
It was a mother who became herself in front of them.
Step 3: Make Space Before You Make Plans
We often skip straight to doing. But before you add anything new, you may need to subtract.
What’s draining you right now?
What are you doing out of obligation, not alignment?
Where could you ask for help (yes, even now)?
You don’t need a 12-week planner or a brand-new identity.
You need room to breathe.
And sometimes that starts with a single, soul-sparking “No.”
Step 4: Build on What Lights You Up
Building a life you love doesn’t require a total reinvention.
You don’t need to burn it all down or start from scratch.
Often, it’s about returning to something you already knew about yourself: the part of you that’s been quietly waiting for permission to come back to life.
- That little creative project you shelved “for now.”
- The dream you wrote in the margins of your planner.
- The skill you used to love: painting, teaching, organizing, making people laugh … but haven’t touched in years.
- The version of you who came alive while helping a friend, styling a space, or brainstorming business ideas in your head while pushing a stroller.
She’s not lost.
She’s just been buried under other people’s needs.
And now, she’s stirring.
Start there.
With the tiny things that give you a jolt of energy instead of draining you dry.
The things that make you lose track of time.
The things you’d do even if no one paid you or praised you, just because it makes you feel like yourself again.
Maybe it’s 10 minutes a day at first.
Maybe it’s once a week.
But don’t underestimate the power of small, consistent joy.
That’s the spark that builds momentum.
That’s the seed of your next chapter.
That’s the breadcrumb trail back to yourself.
Let her lead the way.
Step 5: Start Where You Are, with What You Have
I built my coaching business 15 years ago while still showing up for my husband and our five kids.
Not because I had extra time or perfect conditions.
But because I chose to trust that my dreams mattered, too.
I didn’t wait to be less busy.
I decided to build a life I loved in the middle of the mess.
You can do that, too.
You’re not behind. You’re becoming.
One brave yes at a time.
Permission Granted
If you’ve been waiting for a sign … a green light, a pep talk, a gentle nudge to stop putting yourself last. This is it.
- You’re allowed to be both wildly grateful and quietly craving something more.
- You’re allowed to take up space in your own life.
- You’re allowed to dream a dream that has nothing to do with anyone else’s needs.
Building a life you love doesn’t mean abandoning your people.
It means bringing your whole self to the table,
so the people you love get the fullest version of you.
Not the version who’s constantly running on empty.
You get to build a life that reflects your values, your passions, and your magic …
not just the needs and noise of everyone else.
Because when you come alive, you give your family permission to do the same.
That’s the legacy.
That’s the revolution.
That’s the life you deserve.
So take the first step.
Not next year. Not when the kids are older. Not when things calm down.
Now.
In the middle of the beautiful, chaotic, imperfect life you’re already living.
Because the truth is that they’ll always need you.
But now, you get to need you, too.
