Growing up we were a stereotypical middle class family. Two parents, brick house in the middle of the city of St. Louis and Catholic schools galore. My mom worked a full time 40+ hour a week job for most of my childhood. My dad sometimes worked two jobs but shortly before I became a teenager he finally fulfilled his dream of becoming a firefighter. As a child, I never remember wanting for anything. I always had my basic needs met and then some. Now that I am a mom, I look back on my childhood and realize that I was SO spoiled. I will fully admit to being spoiled. However, I was not a spoiled brat. I was taught the value of working hard to achieve what I wanted in life, mostly through the actions of my parents and their unwavering support of my academics and activities. I was allowed to have my own opinions and beliefs. I learned to think for myself and I learned that it was okay to be a strong woman.
Now that I am a mother, I can really reflect on my childhood from my mom’s perspective. Until I was a mother, I never realized all the sacrifices my mom, in particular, made for my brother and I. Now, I truly understand all the work that went into providing that life for us. Here is what I want my mom to know this Mother’s Day:
I See You.
I see how exhausted you were when you came home from working a 10 hour workday. You still came home every night, made sure there was dinner on the table and took time to ask about our day. You never complained. You never said you were “too tired” for anything we needed from you. Sometimes you stayed up late to make sure our school uniforms were washed, our lunches were packed and the house was in a somewhat presentable state.
You are strong.
In hindsight, I know you were worried and scared a majority of the time. The stress of having a first responder husband wondering when you might get that phone call in the middle of the night that an injury had happened during his shift. Worried that you had a fearless son who had no qualms about demonstrating daredevil behavior or practicing his professional wrestling moves on your bed which eventually lead to a head-size whole in the wall from a trick gone awry. Worried that you had a daughter out in this world and hoping that you were teaching her to stand tall and be proud of who she is and where she came from.
You are determined.
You were determined to give my brother and I the best life possible. Whether this meant staying at jobs longer than you would’ve liked to keep our income stable, going without new clothes for yourself so you could meet the clothing needs of two growing children or forgoing self-care time your yourself. We all made it through our childhoods, virtually unscathed, minus a few scars from the daredevil shenanigans and school picture memories of bad haircuts.
So this Mother’s Day, this is what I want not only MY mother to know but ALL mothers to know. We, your children, we see you. We might not understand until much later in life the sacrifices mothers make for their children. Don’t be discouraged. Your efforts are not in vain. It may take until your children have children of their own for them to truly appreciate you and to grasp the magnitude of the power of unconditional love. Personally, being a mom is the most rewarding role I could ever have and I owe it all to my mom for not only talking the talk but also walking the walk when it comes to compassion, understanding and the unconditional love of a selfless mother.
