Now into my late 40’s, I see and understand the gift of get-tos.  Motherhood has offered countless “get-tos”, and through those get-tos I get to draw closer to my children and understand who they are and who they are growing up to be. 

What is a get-to? The moment when you get to be, to do, and to show up selflessly for your children.  My children are soon to be 20 and 17 years old, and that is crazy! I don’t know where life will take them and I know that our days as we have known them will continue to take a new form, so more than ever I sit in the joy of “get-tos”. I stay ready to do for them and relish the moments when they allow me in.  

I get what they desire and aspire towards,  and I get to understand who they are becoming in their story. It’s not always easy, but I keep trying and keep showing up. 

One particular evening, I  was presented with an “I get-to” moment.  I was working late into the evening and hoping to write my next blog for St. Louis Mom. My son, Benji, was sprawled across the couch working on his own writing – his college essay and it was due the next morning! He was exhausted and was bearing the weight of it all. I couldn’t let him push through that alone, so I put my computer down and picked up his. We started to talk through his words, and together we made revisions. After a few moments, minutes, hours, his countenance changed. I saw him perk up and smile confidently. I knew then we were almost done and that he would be able to lay his head down to rest.

You know what helped in that moment? We had had many conversations over the last few weeks about life matters, thoughts, and feelings which coincidently brought him to this current situation: writing his college essay. Organically, over several car rides together and many ordinary moments, I had heard his heart and understood what he was trying to put on paper. I got him. In spite of what I had to do or how tired I may have been, I was so grateful for this moment. It was an honor to be allowed into this life-defining moment. 

Now, you may be asking, “What?! Your teen talks to you?” Please understand we didn’t get here overnight. It has been years of intentionally being present and caring about the little things so that one day I could be let into the bigger, more vulnerable moments. I’ve stumbled along the way and put my foot in my mouth a few times, but I’ve worked to be someone my children could trust and desire to talk to. 

These days, I spend a lot of time looking at them in wonder. I pause and see how far we have come and I am filled with gratitude for the things we have worked through together. 

More than ever, I sit in the “get-to” because these are not promised.

In motherhood, I get-to

I get to be there for my children

I get to listen 

I get to comfort 

I get to hold their cares 

and concerns

I get to share deep conversations

over coffee

I get to laugh with them

and share the same music

I get to celebrate their wins

and grieve the losses

I get to learn with them and from them

Through it all, 

I get to see them bud and 

grow into the beautiful people

they are becoming

Motherhood has come with its growing pains and curve balls, but I get to be there for my children to offer warmth, love, and safety as they journey along. PSA: have your people too because you will need warmth, love, and safety as you absorb, resolve, and reconcile all things that come with mommy-hood.

Friend, as your children grow, you will sit in the tension of being a parent while becoming more of a coach. You will be challenged to parent in a new way, and you will figure it out as you go. I forewarn you, even in your best intentions you will fall short and cause some hurt. That has been a hard pill to swallow, but continue to be present for the get-tos. 

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today, let us begin. ~ Mother Teresa

What are your get-tos today?

What get-tos fill your  mommy heart?

How might you turn a have-to into a get-to?