I did it. I kicked my husband and 12.5-month-old daughter out of the house. I did. I needed to for my well-being and theirs, too. They also needed a break.
Self-care is not selfish.
I had to repeat that to myself a few times as I took a hot shower and slipped on a hydrating foot mask. I then found my bluetooth speaker and played my favorite podcast throughout the house while scrolling through Pinterest.
Self-care is not selfish.
What is it about society and even our own inner voices that tell us that we are too busy or not worthy enough to indulge in relaxation, meditation or simply binge-watching our favorite show from the 90s?
As a parent, we are constantly keeping so many balls in the air – it’s rather extraordinary, but so difficult. We manage budgets. We get the kids to swim practice on time – most of the time. We meal plan. We rush home after 9 hours at work. We rush from one household chore to another.
Being a parent is a 24/7 job and let’s admit it – we will never sleep soundly again. That’s when self-care becomes obligatory in order to be a good parent. That’s when discipline comes into play. Next time you look in a mirror, messy bun and all, tell yourself that you will practice self-care or else. Think good cop – bad cop.
So, why is self care important?
- You cannot pour from an empty cup. Don’t expect to give your family 100% if you can’t give yourself 100%.
- You are telling your body “it’s okay” when most of the time it feels like we are in a constant state of panic or stress.
- You are reminding yourself of this truth: you are worthy.
So, now what? Here are four ideas to help practice self-care:
Ask for alone time at home. I tend to be a homebody, so my bed, tablet and Oreos are my go-to when I need a few minutes alone during the week. When my husband arrives home from work, I usually catch up on our days and then I ask him to take the girls (our daughter and dog) out for a quick walk. Those 10-15 minutes make such a difference. I am ready for dinner, bedtime and then some adult conversation and one-on-one time before the lights go out.
Prioritize what makes you feel better. The dishes will be there tomorrow. The laundry pile might grow a bit bigger, but it won’t become a monster. If you are have a tough day it is 100% okay to say, “I need to condition my hair” or “I want to catch up on the book I keep putting down.” Put yourself and what will keep you energized first. The chores will always be there, but we often time run out of patience before we can take time alone.
Schedule (and keep) appointments with yourself. It may sound odd, but I regularly schedule appointments for myself to write or work on a volunteer project. By carving out specific times for tasks and to-do items that matter to YOU, you may find yourself more committed to taking a timeout. It also ensures that I don’t commit to too many activities at once when I look at my calendar for the week.
Set Goals. Do you want to lose an extra 5lbs? Make a goal. Need to drink more water? Make a goal. Keep feeling left out during Bible study because you can’t remember where you left your Bible? Make a goal. Tired of telling Netflix to “Start from Beginning” because you fell asleep during an episode of The Crown for the umpteenth time? Make a goal, mama! Seriously, set a goal for whatever makes you HAPPY. Whatever makes you CONTENT. Whatever brings you PEACE. You deserve it.
So, mamas, from my fluffy white bed to your happy place – take a minute for yourself. Please. You are worthy of it. Your family deserves it. You deserve it.
How do you practice self-care in the midst of this crazy chaos called motherhood?
