STLMB Perspectives: Magical Holiday Traditions – This Mama Opts Out

“In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy.” -William Blake

I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this post. I’m the Grinchy counterpart to a discussion about magical holiday traditions. Our house doesn’t Elf on the Shelf. Or Santa. Or really even decorate much. I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk about those choices without making it a post that puts someone else’s choices down. Because here’s the thing: I don’t begrudge anyone else their fun, and it does seem like many of my friends who go all out on the Christmas magic are, indeed, having fun.

That’s why I chose the William Blake quote above to open this post. These words are part of a larger poem that serve as a collection of proverbs (or “words of wisdom”) about how to best live life. “In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy.” Blake uses these words metaphorically to discuss the seasons of our lives. Early on (“seed time”) is for learning about the world. Our middle age (“harvest”) is for teaching others. Finally, the end of our lives (“winter”) is for enjoying the fruits of what we have learned and taught.

For my purposes, I’m taking it a little more literally. Most of my life is a busy blur. I’m constantly tallying up the (meaningless) score on (invisible) to-do lists and falling (inevitably) short. There is always another paper to grade, project to do, load of laundry to fold, floor to vacuum, child to console, meal to cook, or bill to pay. Some of my biggest parenting regrets come as I try to close my eyes at night and the day’s memories wash over me. Too often, they’re full of hustle without pause, tasks barked out at little ears without time for play, too many “maybe laters” without enough laters to give.

It’s hard to talk about our holiday traditions without framing it as what we don’t do. That’s how, I’m afraid, it’s viewed from the outside looking in. Instead, though, I’d like to tell you what we do do.

We pause. Hard. Schedules clear and tasks lift, and we have time to play board games and read books and lounge in pajamas and, above all, enjoy.

I recognize that some people enjoy moving that elf every night. They enjoy wrapping the presents and decking the halls and lining up for last minute shopping deals.

For me, each of those things is just another list of stress and hurry. My true indulgence for the holiday is saying “no” to a barrage of tasks and responsibilities that bombard me the rest of the year, and I truly believe that my family enjoys the magic of that, too.