Life is full of lessons when we pay attention.
With each year, I’m becoming increasingly more aware of the time we have left with our own parents. This is something I never want to really dedicate headspace to — after all, my parents are my safety blanket, no matter my age.
My parents immigrated to the U.S. from India in the 80s. My dad grew up in a rural village in India where he would spend evenings studying on the streets under a street lamp, without electricity in his home. My mother grew up one of ten siblings. Her days were spent going to school, followed by coming home and taking on domestic chores like cooking or sewing clothes for the family. They each held a belief that education was their golden ticket to opportunity, which would eventually lead them to America. With a masters in hand and an acceptance into a PhD program, my parents left India. With two kids under 2, no family nearby, and no childcare, my parents figured it out. My mom, with her master’s degree, worked as a microbiologist while my dad would be at home caring for my brother and I, somehow managing to complete his PhD thesis.
Like most, I never truly valued their efforts until I became a parent myself. After all, you don’t know what you don’t know. I didn’t know what it took to raise a child, let alone to raise one under such unique circumstances. I now am beginning to reflect and realize the values with which I was raised. Here are my top 5 values my immigrant parents taught me:
- Resilience. A new country. A foreign language. No support system. Parenting. Learning to drive. A new school system. The list is endless for all the things that could have been setbacks, but my parents pushed on. Their will was stronger than any hurdle.
- Hard work never goes wasted. My dad was determined to break out of his village as a child. His family owned a fabric shop, and he knew that that would be his future unless he took charge. The fire was lit inside of him — he recounted a story when he was applying for his first job in the U.S. He sent telegraphs to employers and would wait weeks before receiving a reply.
- Be confident and embrace your differences. As a Sikh, my dad wears a turban each day, keeping his uncut hair covered. He has a beard. He has an accent. He has never allowed these physical differences to limit him in any way. On the contrary, he’s leaned into them and is the guy who will build a relationship with everyone— the ultimate people person.
- Humility. Because of the poverty my parents grew up around, they live a life filled with gratitude. They will forever remain grounded in their roots and live life with a lens of abundance.
- Resourcefulness. Growing up with limited resources, my parents often made lemonade out of lemons. My mom is the queen of sewing anything – from repairing stuffed animals to tailoring clothes. She is a master chef and creates Michelin-type dishes with whatever ingredients she has on hand. My parents learned to be scrappy and work with what they had instead of focusing on what they didn’t have.
I hold on to these values tightly and hope to instill them in our next generation.
What are some values that your parents taught you?
