Unconventional Tips for Introducing Our Toddlers to Their Newborn Sister
As we prepare to welcome our baby girl in just 40 days, we’ve been thinking of ways to help our three-and-a-half year-old twin boys adjust to this big change. Here are the tips we’ve decided to use to make the transition as smooth as possible:
1. We will avoid using the “big kid” label.
It’s so easy to fall into the habit of calling older siblings the “big kid” and expecting them to suddenly act more mature. But we know our toddlers are still toddlers. They’re not going to magically grow up overnight just because they have a younger sibling. We’re keeping our expectations age-appropriate and allowing them to ease into their new roles without added pressure.
2. We have involved them in the planning process.
From choosing nursery colors to picking out baby clothes, we’ve made it a point to include the boys in newborn prep. When our little one arrives, we’ll continue this by asking their opinions on little things like which outfit the baby should wear or whether she’d like a particular toy. This helps them feel involved and valued as part of the transition.
3. We will not hold the baby during the initial introduction.
When the boys meet their sister for the first time, we’ll make sure she’s in a neutral spot like her car seat or a bassinet. This way, our hands will be free to give hugs, reassurance, and love to the boys. It’s also a way to avoid them feeling like they’re being replaced in our arms.
4. We will create a baby-free zone.
We plan to set up a space just for the boys, where the baby isn’t allowed. This will be a spot for them to retreat to if they need a break or want to keep their special treasures out of reach. Everyone needs their own space sometimes, and this will help prevent frustration and promote peaceful interactions.
5. We will not blame the baby for changes in plans.
We’re working on avoiding phrases like, “We can’t go to the park because the baby needs a nap.” Instead, we’ll use more neutral language like, “We’ll go to the park after lunch.” This keeps the focus off the baby and helps reduce resentment or feelings of frustration toward their new sibling.
6. We will make time for special one-on-one moments.
Even with the chaos of a newborn, we’re committing to spending 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time with each of the boys every day. Whether it’s reading a book, playing with cars, or going for a quick walk, this will help them connect with us and show them that they’re still just as important to us.
7. We will stick to routines as much as possible.
We know that the arrival of a newborn will shake things up, but we’re doing our best to keep certain routines intact, like bedtime stories or morning cuddles. Familiar routines provide comfort and stability for toddlers in times of change.
8. We will give them special jobs.
The boys love to help, so we’ll give them little tasks like fetching diapers, choosing outfits, or singing to the baby. It’s a great way to help them feel proud and included as big brothers.
With these strategies, we’re hoping to make the adjustment to life as a family of five feel a little less overwhelming for all of us—and create a positive foundation for the boys’ bond with their new sister.
