How do you balance homelife when working opposite schedules?
When our first child was born, we had to decide how we were going to do childcare, like many families do. Thanks to our jobs that enable us to do shiftwork, we have found an unconventional work and family schedule that works for us. I am a nurse and work 12-hour shifts. My husband is a firefighter and works 48-hour shifts. During my husband’s four days off in between shifts, I work two days a week at my job. This schedule has given us the luxury of raising our children without having to rely on childcare.
However, it is not easy. It can be hard to find routine as a family especially being on opposite shifts. It seems when our family settles into one, the routine gets shaken up. Quality family time can be limited. There are days when my husband and I feel we are two passing ships in the night.
We have found working opposite shifts does have its advantages if you work at it. It has taught our family to be fluid. Our kids have learned we can celebrate holidays and birthdays on other days close to the actual day. What matters is we are together to celebrate in the end. We adapt to change easier and are flexible with any changes to plans, fortunately. Our kids come home from school, knowing one of their parents is home at all times. Neither mom nor dad have to call off work if a kid winds up sick.
Here are a few things we do to make it easier on our family with working opposite shifts:
✔️We utilize a shared calendar like Google Calendar. My husband and I can both contribute to the calendar and have access to it from our phones. This helps us be on the same page and ensure we keep up with our and the kids’ schedules.
✔️We make the most of our family time when we are both off. We do family dinners together when we are all home each night. We use this time to catch up with each other and even do themed trivia questions during dinner to have some fun. On nights when we don’t have plans, we typically do a movie or game night at home to spend time together.
✔️We divide and conquer with household chores and maintenance. Both Mom and Dad cook, clean dishes, and do the laundry. I maintain the inside of the house overall while my husband maintains the outside and garage, including the cars. Kids are involved in the household chores which includes making their beds each morning and picking up their toys.
✔️Make time to have a quality conversation with minimal interruptions from household chores or children. We take time to have lunch together while the kids are at school (about once a month) or we will even take a drive to talk about anything we need to discuss. Communication is vital to maintaining our relationship and it is hard to do this when working long hours and opposite shifts. Difficult conversation, especially if it could cause conflict, we try to have in person. It is important to us that we try to be on the same page with raising our children and to be a team.
✔️When we work, we typically FaceTime each other to talk to each other and the kids. With my husband working 48-hour shifts, the kids and I always call my husband to tell him about our day and say good night. Even in the midst of a busy season of life, it is imperative to us in order to stay connected while away from each other. Throughout the shifts, my husband and I will text or call about different matters that cannot wait until the end of the shift.
✔️We use Alexa for our shopping list. This helps us avoid forgetting a staple we need for our household. My husband and I both have access to this list so we can grab what we need without disturbing the other at work in regards to what we need for our household.
While some days can be hard maintaining this schedule between my husband and me, we have found it has worked well for our family over the years and plan to continue to do this until our kids are in high school or we are empty nesters. We are grateful that this is an option we have while raising our kids, yet maintaining our careers.
