Being a first-time mom is a bit of a shock to the system. Your whole world turns upside down when a wee one comes into the picture, and the life you knew before is forever changed. Now that my kids are 6, 6, and 8, I’m reflecting on the lessons I wish I knew earlier as a mom.
- Stop listening to everyone & their mother’s advice. Ok, that sounds ridiculous, but honestly, during my first few months as a mom, I got endless amounts of advice (often conflicting) from my mom, my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law, my neighbors, co-workers & friends … all who had kids. The constant bombardment of info made me feel judged and inadequate. It also made me constantly nervous that I was doing everything wrong. At some point I realized I needed to just quiet the noise and listen to my gut. I realized that it’s ok to figure it out along the way without anyone else weighing in. It took me a while, but eventually, I learned to cut through the noise and trust my own instincts.
- Breastfeeding should be classified as an Olympic sport. A fed baby is a happy baby – so whether you choose to breastfeed or not – know you are doing the right thing. But if you do choose to breastfeed, it’s important to have the right mindset. To succeed, you need both physical and mental fortitude. I almost quit several times in the early stages – latch issues, nipple issues, mastitis, and low milk production. Breastfeeding can be super challenging and didn’t come naturally to me or my baby. I didn’t have the right mindset with my first baby, and we struggled a lot. It’s important to anticipate the difficulties you might have and seek help from a lactation consultant if you desire to keep going. When it came time for the twins, I was way more prepared and successful.
- You might find yourself lost at moments during motherhood …unable to remember who you were before and what mattered to you. You are likely to push your own needs off, and you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and anxious. Parenting is no joke. But one day, as your kids grow older and more independent, you will find yourself again. And you will find that YOU 2.0 is even better than the previous version you remember.
- Your body may feel foreign, but ease back into exercise. Don’t try to rush back into the same exercise routine you did pre-pregnancy. Take it slow— start with walking and low-impact formats with emphasis on your core and pelvic floor. Your post-partum body needs time to heal & recoup from the miracle(s) it just made. Give your body the time it needs to heal, and it will come back two fold. You will hit your exercise stride again.
- It takes a village – find yours and keep them close. Not being able to do it all or needing a break from motherhood doesn’t make you a bad mom. It’s ok to ask for help. Don’t feel guilty recruiting family, friends, or hired help to share the load. Over the years, we have used ALL of those mentioned, and will continue to as our family needs them.
Written by Natalie Kalmar.
For more from Natalie, check out her blog!
