In life, there’s a season for everything, including motherhood. Just like winter transitions to spring, moms transition from diapers and bottles to lunchboxes and little league, to learners’ permits and prom dates. There’s beauty and struggle in each season, and whether you’re looking fondly backward or eagerly forward, we’re here for all of it!
My name is Meg, I’m in the Empty Nest stage of motherhood, and I feel AMAZING about it!
My motherhood journey has been as unique as the mom next to me, and, to be honest, I never even daydreamed about what this stage of parenthood would look like for me because I was so in the trenches while I was raising my kids.
You might know my story ….
I became a full-time “dad’s girlfriend raising his FIVE kids” when I was 27 years old, and we were given full custody pretty much overnight. At that time, the kids were ages 4-11. My title quickly turned into “Step-mom” when we were married a year later, and a few more years down the line, I became “adoptive mom” to our amazing five kids. I didn’t even change a diaper until I was 42, and my bestie began fostering newborns! Now, I love that I have added the name “Lolli” to the list of things people call me as that is my grandma name (my honey is Pop).
Maybe you can understand now why “life after kids” never entered my mind over the past 20 years … but now that it’s here, it is oh-so-sweet!
Our youngest made us empty nesters in 2021 when she purchased her first home. We live in the city of St Louis, and she now lives about 12 minutes away in another neighborhood, while our four other kids and two grandbabies (Jude is three and Arlo was just born on October 15th!), are scattered between Tennessee and Alabama. We have two kids in the military, one of which has completed two year-long deployments.
Since my kids started leaving the nest in 2015, I have built three businesses I run full-time from home. Being my own boss, it’s nice to be able to travel to see our kids whenever I want, but it can be a challenge to be in another state from most of them. We mainly keep in touch with a family group text that all of us fill with funny memes, great memories, and news from our day-to-day lives. I have found this is the easiest way to keep us all connected as they are busy living their adult lives.
We usually Facetime with our grandbaby every few weeks, and I’ll be traveling to meet our new one when he is born, right around my birthday this month. I like giving our kids all the space they need to have their own lives but letting them know I’m just a call away if they need me and will do anything I can to be there for them. It feels good and healthy to have some space but also feel close to them.
Since my husband Craig and I never had a life together before kids, this is definitely OUR TIME, and we have never felt closer. We’re now aged 46 and 51 and are best friends. We enjoy many of the same things so that helps a lot. We’re currently planning what we’d like our retirement to look like and enjoying watching our kids explore the challenges and endless opportunities that come with being ages 24-31. I love it when they call me to run something by me or just to see how I’m doing … but I also love it when they send me a quick text about a fun memory from our past or to thank me for always being there for them.
What surprised me the most about this season of motherhood?
The times of our lives that the kids remember and bring up as their favorite memories …
- They talk often about how much they enjoyed the vacations we took, but also apologize for being on their phone too much or not appreciating it as much at the time.
- Special little things we did to make holidays unique and fun. Some years, we didn’t know if we would have them on the holiday or not because of shared holiday custody, but they now have fond memories of fun ways we made them extra special, even if it wasn’t on the actual day. Most of what they recall were things we didn’t even spend any money on; we just created fun experiences around them.
- How patient we were with them when they were walking through tough times. That doesn’t mean we didn’t have boundaries or we gave them anything they wanted … but we did show love by making really hard decisions that we knew were best for them, even if they couldn’t see it in the moment. As adults, it makes sense to them, and they are thankful.
To me … that’s the priceless part of being in this magical time of motherhood … and I cherish every conversation with my adult kids.
Our life might not look like other grandparents who are in their kids’ day-to-day lives but it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be, and it feels pretty sweet.
