“Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.” It’s hard not to LOL at the iconic lines from Mean Girls—until you realize that the high school drama we thought we left behind might just be lurking on the playgrounds and at the PTA meetings of our adult lives. Is anyone else nervous about mom cliques?
As a mother of two toddlers, the thought of navigating social circles once they start school has me a bit anxious. I can’t help but wonder—do mom cliques even exist? Or are they just another boogeyman story we’ve been told? “You can’t sit with us!” echoes in my mind, but is it really something we need to worry about as moms?
With school events looming on the horizon, I find myself anxious about the possibility of facing a high school-like atmosphere all over again. I’ve heard stories about “mommy mean girls.” For those of you with kids already in school, I’d love to hear your experiences. Have you encountered this? How do you handle it? Please share your life stories or suggestions in the comments, or feel free to DM me on @Nicolepowellbrand.
According to an article from Marie Claire, mom cliques are indeed a reality for some women. The article highlights how these cliques can create a sense of exclusion and even bullying among mothers, similar to the dynamics many of us experienced in high school. The article also discusses the emotional toll this takes on women, who may already be feeling vulnerable as they navigate the challenges of motherhood.
But, there’s hope!
The article also suggests that by consciously choosing to be inclusive and supportive, we can break the cycle of exclusion and create a more positive environment for everyone. But, we have to be self-aware and make kindness a priority.
Since we can’t control everything or predict the future, here’s what I believe we should do as mothers to avoid falling into the trap of cliques and ensure that this phenomenon—if it exists—doesn’t persist.
Here are my five vows, and I encourage you to join me. I vow to:
- Be Approachable: I will make an effort to reach out to other moms, especially those who seem quiet or reserved. The smallest gesture can make anyone feel included and seen.
- Avoid Judgments: We all have our own ways of doing this motherhood thing. Let’s be supportive rather than critical, even if we don’t agree with another mom’s parenting choices.
- Foster Inclusivity: Whether it’s at school events or playdates, try to include as many people as possible and be open to inviting others into “the circle.”
- Be A Model of Kindness for My Kids: I vow to show my kids how to be kind and accepting of others. Yes, it’s great to have “your besties” or “your crew,” but no one said your crew has to be exclusive.
- Be Part of a Supportive Network: Instead of focusing on fitting in with a particular group, I will focus on building or joining a supportive network of moms who lift each other up, kind of like the community St. Louis Mom has cultivated in STL.
Now, like many things in life, I know I won’t be perfect in upholding these vows, but all we can do is strive to do our best and work together to ensure that our school experiences as moms are different from the high school dramas of our past. By being intentional about our actions and interactions, we can create a welcoming and supportive community for ourselves and our children.
