February is American Heart Month.
Honestly, I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it … but the 13th marks 14 years. It’s easy to remember because it is sandwiched between my sister’s birthday and Valentine’s Day.
I was in graduate school on my way home from field training when I got the call from one of his employees. He said my father suffered a severe heart attack.
Time crawled by like a snail as I attempted to navigate the Chicago streets in a moment of un-reality. I hope he is okay. I hope he is in the hospital getting taken care of. I’m sure I can find a way to get there to care for him. I can stay in the hospital.
But he didn’t make it. He was gone.
Yesterday was fine. Today is not.
I’m going to “yada yada” over the best part … the grief, the pain, the trauma of his funeral. Fast forward six months, and I’m crying as I walk down the aisle, arm in arm with my brother. I’m not crying out of joy that I got to marry the greatest guy, (I did!), but instead, I’m crying because my dad, who helped pay for this wedding, was not there. I hung a picture of him from my bouquet, got to see his face in the faces of my siblings, and knew I was marrying someone for whom he gave approval.
But he would not get to see it. He would never get to meet my children, one who is named after him. He would never get to show up at the door on Christmas with armloads of gifts, like he talked about planning.
The years have been heavy without him, especially in those moments when I would have called him for advice. I have such joy when my brother comes to visit and play with my kids in the way I know only a Scaccia would … like my dad would. It is as close as I can get. And I am forever grateful for those moments.
You did not know my dad, and you sure did miss out! But the seriousness of heart health does not escape any one of us. This sudden loss has been life-changing for me and it is something that we can be intentional about. Eat right, exercise, avoid smoking and secondhand smoke, be aware of your cholesterol and work with your doctor to make sure the choices you are making help to keep it in check.
Unfortunately, these things can help, but genetics plays a role, too. Our genes make it even more important that we are vigilant about the things we can control. You don’t have to be old, male, and overweight to be vulnerable to a heart attack.
One component of heart health that we don’t talk about as much is stress. Stress levels can elevate blood pressure, increase body tension, and keep your body in a “hypervigilant” state. Being chronically over-stressed can tell your body that it is in a scary or unsafe situation, almost as if you are constantly facing danger or risk. Your heart cannot differentiate between chronic stress due to work demands combined with child needs or living in chronic fear of a break-in or job loss. Your heart just knows that there is stress that does not relent and increases blood pressure, working harder to maintain bodily functions.
Additionally, chronic intense stress can make sleeping more irregular, increase the chances of poor diet choices, increase irritability, and make exercise seem harder to incorporate. Even childhood trauma can increase the chances of medical issues later in life, including heart attack. Mental health is physical health.
All of these components can feel like even more stressors. Self-care is an easy talk to talk but a difficult walk to walk! But take baby steps to make a start. Try following a healthy food blog that will provide family-friendly options to cook instead of feeling you need to figure it all out yourself. Try waking up 10 minutes early to do some stretches. Try stepping outside into the sunshine at least once every 2 hours, even if just for 2 minutes. Try taking 3 deep breaths every hour. Your steps don’t have to be big, but they will help to move you forward. Your heart with thank you. Your family will thank you!
