Am I Being Stretched Too Thin?

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Motherhood is one of my greatest blessings and challenges. It can be even more challenging if you are doing too much without a balance for yourself. My four boys, from an 8th grader all the way down to my 3-year-old, have all the energy in the world but without the full village, it can feel overwhelming. Some days it feels like there is twice as much work to do and less time for family or self.

 

 

 

 

Most days consist of school readiness, drop off and pick up, tutoring, sports practices and games, occasional programs, and even orchestra. This is on top of working a full-time job. I always joke around and tell my boys that I wish there were three of me. Help is necessary, and even with my Husband being the great partner and team player he is, it still is just not enough with just the two of us. Our family dynamic is different as the grandparents are not retired and still work full/part-time, as well. Along with many other family members, their support is limited, during the week especially. So, the question I often am left with is— am I stretching myself too thin? Being a great mother and maybe even an overachiever sometimes is great, but Mothers deserve breaks too. 

 

 

So, here are things I have been thinking about as I’m trying to give myself breaks:

 

Reaching out to friends and other mothers to see if they have any support or resources they can give me to help us; babysitter recommendations is the main one! Just being able to have someone hear and understand where I am coming from and help me figure out things to lessen our plate during our busy week. A lot of my friends are now like my family as well, so they are always open to support and help me when needed. 

 

Taking a day out of the week for a date night with my Husband for us to just relax without our children. Quality time is super important, and that should be an ongoing thing to do with your loved one. A date night for us could be a movie, dinner, a different event happening in the city, a baseball game – Go Cards!- or anything like that. Happy spouse, happy house! 

 

Working out!! Even finding 30 minutes a day to get your body moving. Taking a walk, joining a class, yoga, in-home workouts, or anything you desire to get up and get moving. Exercising gives me an enormous amount of well-being and makes me feel good. There are many benefits to working out that are not just focused on your physical health.

 

Lastly, I think therapy has been helping tremendously. Therapists are your own personal support person that can help you navigate through the woes of feeling overwhelmed or being stretched too thin. I love that Therapy is now becoming a more important and inclusive topic for people to have as an option for mental and emotional support. Therapists are also more accessible now than before through Zoom, in person, and even through text messages. 

 

If you are ever feeling a bit overwhelmed, take some time to move some things around your calendar, do something that brings you joy and relaxation, and remember to breathe. You’re doing the best you can do!

 

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Rika White
Rika White was born and raised in St. Louis, and she is newly married to her Husband, Antoine. Together they have 4 boys: Aj, Dj, Paxton and Santana. Rika takes pride in being a BOY MAMA! Rika has a Degree in Political Science and planning for her Master's in Public Health. She organizes within the Nonprofit world specifically around Gun Violence, Electoral work, and youth programming centering black and brown people. She currently is a Director of Organizing for a Faith Based Nonprofit for the state of Missouri. Rika and her family reside in the North County area and enjoy their community and the Hazelwood School District. In Rika's spare time, she is the President of the elementary school 2 of her sons attend, she and her fiancé spend a lot of time exploring St. Louis with their boys and giving back to their community. As a young mother, it is important to Rika to balance self-care in between being a spouse and a mama. Rika is excited to share her thoughts on many different topics and to bring a vast amount of diversity and non-traditional motherhood to the platform. She hopes you all will enjoy and be open to learn and discuss as well. Enjoy :)