4 Conversations to Have with Your Partner as the School Year Begins

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With the new school year upon us, we are re-sharing this post from 2023 about a family reset!

Every time seasons transition, especially in and out of the school year, it feels like an opportunity for a family reset.  

What do I mean by a family reset? A chance to pause, reflect on how family life is feeling and functioning in this season – and make adjustments as needed. Amidst a time when there are so many things calling for our attention and time, I have found it to be very easy/common for family life to be crowded out or barely squeezed in, and taking the time to pause and reflect on the prior season as we prepare for the next helps us make minor adjustments before things feel too far off course.

At the same time, though, my husband and I are in a season of parenting when having a complete conversation feels nearly impossible … we begin a conversation, and someone needs a snack. We get said child a snack, and someone needs help with the sprinkler. We ask sprinkler child to give us a few minutes, and before we can even continue where we left off, another child comes in needing help with their shoes. We get everyone re-settled into their activities, try to remember where our conversation ended, pick up from there, and suddenly one of our children needs to go potty, and we decide we’ll talk again another time.  an African American family sitting around the dinner tableWe are no longer in a season of parenting when we can depend on finishing conversations during nap time or once our kids are in bed, and that has been difficult to navigate.  Despite it being a tricky season to finish a conversation, we are committed to trying!  A few creative ways we have successfully finished conversations are: 

  • Going for a walk/bike ride with our family – we let the kids ride their bikes or scoot ahead, and we walk behind and talk as much as time allows.  Sometimes we end up at a playground and continue conversations while the kids play.
  • Letting our kids pick out a movie at a time we don’t typically watch movies – pouring a beverage and heading out to our front porch. 
  • Having a “business meeting” date night, where we bring our calendars and our list of lingering discussions and decisions out for happy hour, work through as many of the details as we can, and then go for a walk afterwards to connect and talk about things that aren’t related to family management/decisions/schedules.

The last few weeks, we have felt the pending season change and while there are many things we are looking forward to – we both were feeling the need to get away and have some time to thoughtfully discuss and decide on what our family needs most in the coming months. Here are the top four conversations we worked through. 

  1. When/How will we regularly have time to connect as a family?
  2. When in our weekly rhythms will we each have time to tend to our personal needs and tasks?
  3. Is there anything on our calendar that we should reevaluate or slow down our commitment to?
  4. What are the top two problem areas in how our home/family runs- (both space-wise and system-wise) – that if addressed, could bring ease to the flow of our life?

What conversations are you having in your home as you prepare for the new school year?  And, how in the world are you finding ways to FINISH all the conversations you start? 🙂

 

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Rachel Hodges
Rachel is originally from the Chicagoland area, but has grown deep Saint Louis roots over the last fifteen years. She married her high school sweetheart and they live in the Metro East with their three children and spunky puppy. Rachel is the kind of Mom who loves watching her kids grow and learn new things, and also wishes time would slow down a bit. Rachel and her husband love to travel together, dream together, and enjoy time with friends and family. Rachel loves getting lost in a story and is always up for a book or podcast recommendation. She loves time outside, good questions, long conversations, and a good theme to plan a party or meal around. Rachel works as a Child, Adolescent and Family Therapist who provides counseling, parent coaching and equipping. She loves helping parents strengthen their relationships with their children, and helping parents understand their children through a developmental lens. Rachel believes we were all meant to be heard, feel known and be absolutely delighted in.

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