Breathing: From Birth through Motherhood

The breathing techniques that usher our kids into the world have a place beyond the delivery room.

 

 

My oldest son turns ten in just a few months, and I have found myself in a season of reflecting on my first decade of motherhood.  What I’ve learned, what has surprised me, how quickly it has gone, what a wild gift it is.  

 

Do you remember how in birthing classes, they encourage you to have a phrase or mantra you focus on while you breathe through contractions? 

 

I can’t quite remember what mine was for my oldest.  I think it was something like

            Inhale: “you were made for this,”

            Exhale: “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

 

 

Leaning over birth balls, breathing, saying those words to myself.

Leaning against my husband, breathing, saying those words to myself.

Seeing the angst in my nurse’s eyes, breathing, saying those words to myself.

Wondering how much longer it would be, breathing, saying those words to myself.

Realizing he was almost here, breathing, saying those words to myself.

 

Over and over and over again.

 

What occurred to me most recently is that no one tells you in birthing class that so much of parenthood will be taking deep breaths, focusing on what is right in front of you, and speaking phrases of comfort, truth, and hope to yourself as you usher your child through.

 

Comforting a crying baby in the middle of the night …

            Inhale: I am with you,

            Exhale: We’ll figure this out.

 

Caring for a toddler who knows what they want …

            Inhale: Here is his voice,

            Exhale: Let him feel heard.

 

Watching from the sidelines as our school-age kiddo takes on new challenges …

            Inhale: He is ready for this,  

            Exhale: and I’m still here.

 

Loving our teens who are coming into themselves …

            Inhale: A time to lean in,

            Exhale: A time to give space.

 

Missing our adult child who is no longer under our roof …

            Inhale: He was made for this,

            Exhale: He carries my love.

 

Caring for ourselves, as we grow up through motherhood …

            Inhale: I am doing what I can,

            Exhale: That is enough.

 

 

Breathing, saying these words to ourselves.

Over and over and over again.

 

Sometimes—  often, the words we are saying to ourselves amidst our mothering aren’t actually soothing.  They bring fear or worry, doubt or disconnection.  Other times, we forget to breathe.  Life is busy, we get caught off guard, we are overwhelmed.

 

 

What a comfort to know, we can keep practicing what we’ve been practicing since before they were even born.

 

Breathe in,

Breathe out,

 

You were made for this.

 

Breathe in,

Breathe out,

 

You were made for this.

 

So maybe, Momma, you could take some time – to notice – what does breathing look like in your motherhood? Maybe – you could reflect on how the words you speak to yourself are forming how you think of your child(ren) and yourself. Maybe, you could consider what words or mantras would breathe life and peace and courage into your mothering. 

 

I’ve listed a few questions below.  If this serves you in this season, I hope you’ll set a few minutes aside to consider what may serve you as you care for those in your midst.  You matter, Momma.

 

Questions:

 

What does breathing look like in this season? Are there times set apart for deep breathing? Are deep breaths a tool you use to care for yourself in moments of stress, overwhelm, or dysregulation?

 

What words play over in your mind amidst your motherhood? Do they bring comfort and courage? Stress or overwhelm?

 

What words or phrases sound soothing to you? Something you’ve read in this post? Something you’ve said or someone has said to you in the past?

 

Select or write 1-2 phrases and put them on a post-it or in a note on your fridge and practice breathing through them in the coming weeks.