This post originally ran in 2022.
“Santa is real, but not who you think.”
Now that my youngest knows the “truth” about Santa, I want to shift our mindset toward the holidays.
The “truth” that they each learned is that Santa is real, but he doesn’t live in the North Pole. He is real, but he doesn’t have a team of elves. He is real, but he doesn’t deliver gifts from a sleigh as we sleep snug in our beds.
Santa isn’t a person. Santa is a collective of generosity, love, and selflessness. Santa is giving, without expecting a thank you in return. The magic of Santa isn’t in how he fits down the chimney or visits each home across the globe in one night— the magic is in our hearts.
So what kind of shift am I hoping to make?
Before we had kids, my husband and I celebrated the holidays differently. We never bought gifts for each other, rather we would buy toys and donate them. We would deliver them to a children’s home or hospital. We sparked so much joy in ourselves by shopping, loading up the trunk, and making deliveries.
And then we had kids of our own, and our focus shifted. We found another kind of joy in watching our own kids light up by the packages nestled under the tree.
Christmas now is all about gifts for my kids. Gifts that my kids have wanted, and ones that got put in piles after they were opened. Piles that moved from under the tree, to their respective bedrooms, and I’m not going to lie … I’ve seen the piles in June, untouched.
Some gifts don’t spark joy, don’t get played with, don’t get used, and become dust collectors.
I am over wasting money on the holidays because of the self-imposed pressure I put on myself each season.
I am over the stress I feel when one kids has 7 gifts, but another only has 5 … but those gifts cost more … but gift cards aren’t “fun” to open … but experiences can’t be fulfilled on Christmas so the joy is delayed … and what the heck do you buy for a teen?
Over it.
That’s not to say that I’m transforming into the Grinch now that my youngest knows that Santa is really the joy of giving to others. I still want to give them presents, but maybe not so many, and ones I know they’ll love opening.
This year, I want to fill in the gaps. I want our kids to be Santas long before they have kids of their own. I want them to feel that joy of giving with no expectation of getting in return.
This year, I plan to ask each child for a wish list of things that they really want. On Christmas, they will each have a few gifts under the tree (the key word being “few”) that won’t be piled off to the side. Things that I KNOW will bring them joy, whether they are experiences or toys.
And this year, BEFORE the holidays, I want to sit down as a family and talk about ways we can give. Talk about how our needs and wants are met all year long, and that we can shift the focus of the holidays to include an awareness of others and how we can help them.
This year, I plan on giving each child a set dollar amount to spend and have them shop for toys and gifts that we can either drop off at a Toys for Tots location, or support a local charitable organization such as The Bennett Project, who collects gifts for children undergoing pediatric cancer treatments. There are so many ways to give, and so many ways to bring joy to others. I want my kids to plan, shop, wrap, and deliver. I want them to be Santas. And I want to do it together, as a family.
So while the stacks of gifts under the tree may shrink, the wonder and joy of the season will not. I dare say, much like the Grinch’s heart, it will grow.
