I am a sober mom, a weird notion to many, I understand. For a multitude of reasons though I choose not to drink. In my short time as a mom though I have been a bit surprised at the number of comments regarding drinking. For instance, in the days and weeks after I got my boys numerous other mamas would tell me about the great wine deals at Aldi’s and Trader Joe’s. Other moms would say that when I was ready to try out a babysitter for a night out they would be glad to meet me for a drink. I know that all of these comments came from a kind, humorous, and empathetic place, as being a mom is just plain HARD and we all need to take breathers in order to just make it through the tough days.
In no way do I look down upon or judge the mamas that go out for drinks with friends or have a glass of wine while getting kids bathed and fed. It is simply a personal choice that I have made for myself. However, what I think other mom’s are really saying behind offering me suggestions on the best places to buy cheap wine is, “don’t forget to take care of you” and, “do something relaxing for yourself.” So, I’m curious. Why don’t we simply say those things? Why don’t we ask other moms more often, “hey, I know you have a lot on your plate, what have you been doing for you?” Or why not offer a stressed out and overwhelmed mama an hour to herself? Offer for her to drop off her kiddos so she can take a breather. In my almost one year of being a mom, that is the best gift that I have been offered-time to myself!
I love when other mom’s offer suggestions, tips, and advice, but what I really want is for them to just let me know that I’m not alone. The most comforting words I have heard are, “me too.” So, while I’m sure some mamas appreciate knowing where the best places are to buy wine, what I really want as a mom is for people to check in with me. We are constantly doing that for our kids that we often overlook actually checking in with ourselves, it’s always helpful for other people to remind us of that.
