Definition of perspective is “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.” Seeing and understanding the world from someone else’s point of view is an important life skill. I wish this were taught more in our schools. It would help kids so much now and throughout their lives.
I have told this example numerous times to friends and family. A few weeks ago, my son had another medical incident that led us to several missed school days, numerous doctors’ appointments, an ER visit, MRI, Covid tests, etc. I was drained, exhausted, and felt defeated. Meanwhile, on the way home from all of these tests (mind you, we’ve been already up since 2 am), my son says, “Mommy, this was the best day ever.” Me: What the $#%! are you talking about? “Yes, it’s the best day ever because you slept with me last night, sang to me, snuggled, I got to watch PJ Mask in the MRI machine, they gave me two suckers for being so good and a sticker after my COVID test.” Touché, touché!
For the rest of that day, the little things did not matter. I changed my entire thought process, which changed my crummy bad attitude of being ‘poor us’ to how lucky we are to have such a great local Children’s Hospital and wonderful doctors we have on speed dial, and how I was a proud mom for my son being so brave and never once complaining. Then the next day hit, and I was back to worrying about the small things again, poor us, and why is life so hard?– bah humbug!
“Each individual experiences the world from their own unique perspective. Two or 200 people can experience the same event and have completely different experiences.” – Michigan State University Research 2020
Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a magic pill to take that would help change perspective? I would buy a bulk load at Sam’s. Understanding what motivates you to have a better perspective is a great compromise.
I want to share my list of things that help me when I find myself struggling; maybe it can help you start your own list. Truthfully, I relate back to this list several times a day, hoping one day it becomes more of a habit.
• I turn to my six-year-old the most. He struggles day to day with the simple things (toileting, stairs, reaching, being tired, etc.), yet he is always the happiest kid.
• Look through our kids’ eyes. Kids see the best in everyone and everything. They do not judge, they do not criticize, and they are friends with everyone.
• Laugh. I like to find humor in something. Watch a funny show. Listen to a funny podcast. Try not to take life so seriously for a bit.
• Serve and foster kindness– I like to find ways to stay humble. Volunteering, and thinking and praying for all the people you know who are struggling with something. During these challenging times, acts of kindness can mean anything from sending an email to someone who has been isolated and lonely to donating or volunteering. When I’m depressed or feeling nervous, it helps me to help others.
• Elevate gratitude. Bitterness, blame, ego, resentment, feelings of inferiority or superiority all influence our perspective. I like to think of all the things I am lucky and thankful for in my life.
• Do something spontaneous. Doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes changing the routine of getting ice cream on a Tuesday with my son changes my mood and makes me have a positive outlook in life.
• Stay humble. We are always at Children’s Hospital for doctor’s appointments weekly, so witnessing the struggles of the children and their families makes me stay humble. Also, seeing how brave and courageous they are gives me hope.
• Changing my thinking from “should or have to” to “I get to”. This is something I struggle with changing the most. Instead of thinking “I have to take my son to another therapy appointment” to “I get to take my son to therapy to help him be the best he can be.”
It’s a daily practice for me, but like anything else, practice makes perfect ☺
Here are a few of my favorite quotes I want to share:
“If you don’t’ like something change it; If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it”
– Mary Engelbreit
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
― Oprah Winfrey
“Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.”
― Irving Berlin
I admire you Erin. You have worked with Teddy and not given in to your fears. I wonder to myself if I would have the strength that you gave but I feel that you probably have helped more people than you will ever know that might be in the same situation. You have put Teddy first to give him a life and with the sweet things he says to you would be all the thanks I would need. Like I said before I admire you and Craig for the great life you are giving Teddy. It’s only helping not just Teddy but other people too.❤️ My heart goes out to you.
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