In March, my son celebrated his first birthday, and oh, what a whirlwind of emotions it brought me! Even now, a month later, I find myself trying to put words to all the feelings that his birthday stirred within me. Writing about it is also an attempt to give shape, form, and names to my emotions.
You see, my son and I share a special bond, not just as mother and child, but as birthday buddies! It’s a rare and precious connection that makes our shared day even more magical. He arrived fashionably late, almost two weeks past his due date, and when he decided to make his grand entrance, it was on my birthday! Talk about destiny at play. We now share this milestone date, a little secret between us that adds an extra sprinkle of sweetness to our celebrations. I still can’t say much about all this, but there was definitely a metaphorical shift in my life, a before and an after the birth of my son. His presence is significant in my life.
On our joint birthday, I felt a mix of emotions – happiness, pride, a hint of nostalgia for the baby days gone by, and yes, a bit of anxiety for the adventures yet to come. Celebrating his first year filled my heart with immense joy, like watching a tiny seed grow into a blooming flower. There were tough days, moments of exhaustion where I wished for a glimpse of his independence, but now, looking back, even those struggles wear a cloak of nostalgia. Seeing my little one reach his first birthday fills me with pride. He’s a curious, loving soul with a spark of mischief that lights up our days. Through his eyes, the world takes on a new shine!
However, along with the emotions tied to the past year, I started to feel anxiety for the future. While I look forward to watching my child continue to grow, learn, and experience the world, I fear that every birthday I will be overwhelmed by this sensation that everything is passing too quickly. And as I watch my son slowly conquer the world, I fear the days when he will need me less. But I know that my role as a mother involves gradually becoming unnecessary so that my son can then become responsible for himself, his desires, and ultimately, his existence.
Motherhood, they say, is full of ambivalences and contradictions, and I couldn’t agree more. My son’s first birthday has not only marked a year of growth and love but also symbolized the beginning of an incredible journey ahead. As I navigate the joys and challenges of raising him, I am filled with gratitude for the privilege of witnessing his first steps, his first words, and the countless little miracles that make up our days. As I reflect on the past and embrace the present, I am reminded that in motherhood we are constantly learning and growing, and yes, there’s a fair share of laughter and tears. And in the end, it’s about cherishing the small moments, celebrating the milestones, and embracing it all with an open heart.
So here’s to many more years of love, laughter, and beautiful memories with my son. Happy first birthday to my precious little one, and cheers to the wonderful adventures that await us!
