As maternity leave comes to a close, I am very grateful to have had this time to care for my son. We were able to bond and enjoy one another’s company without the stresses of work. Returning to work, whether I feel like it or not, is a good thing because it is part of life. And I am thankful to have a job to return to.
However thanks to the way the system is set up, maternity leave causes me to return at a deficit. Each check will be several hundred dollars less than what I am used to. Having another child to care for in the home makes that a bit unsettling.
Where We Fall Short
This is due in part because I depleted my sick and personal days while out with my first child (born in 2016), so with having a second so soon after, I only had a few weeks of leave available. I still used all my FMLA, having hope I’d just make it through the entire school year without needing to take days off. Pretty unlikely for a mom of two, right? With each cold, I’ll pray we can make it through our days without needing to stay home.
My anxiety increases especially as I return from a trip to the pediatrician’s office and pharmacy for my oldest child. Speaking of the need for mid day doctor’s appointments, even more so during cold and flu season…if I have a need to be out with either child or for myself from now until the end of the school year, I am docked another several hundred dollars per day. Many people will say, “Well if you want children, save for them” and I do agree. But just because you save for them does not mean that you can afford to lose upwards of $500-$1000 per check just because you wanted to spend time with them in your first three months or because of illness. To avoid this decrease in pay, I would’ve had to take less than six weeks off. My body wasn’t even ready to be out and about every day all day at that time.
I won’t even get into the fact that after three months our sleep schedule is not completely intact, so there will be many tired days ahead at work. This will make it more of a challenge to give my all because I have a newborn and toddler in the home. And at the end of his first full day away from me, despite practicing weekly with bottles for almost two months, my son chose to play with the bottle all day. He drank a mere 4 ounces when usually he nursed every 2-3 hours and when I pump once on one side, I pump around 4oz. So I know he did not get enough but he’s not even a full 3 months yet. It’s not fair for us to have to be apart so quickly.
Why Change is Needed
America’s maternity leave system really needs an overhaul. I’m a teacher of 14 years, so while I understand the need to have a qualified teacher in the room, it’s more important that she be able to do the job effectively while not worrying about the fact she cannot take even one day off and can hardly afford her life with the automatic decrease in pay for the remainder of the year’s contract.
I’m not sure of possible solutions, but maybe FMLA should come as paid leave as a first step. According to a 2016 Business Insider article, “the US is one of only four that has no federally mandated policy to give new parents paid time off.” This country doesn’t prioritize the well-being of new parents. Businesses should be able to write it into budgets to cover for employees needing leave. I don’t know enough of the business side to know where that money would come from, but if countries like Sweden, Finland, and Iceland can offer more than three months of leave while parents still receive partial pay (some starting even before the due date), surely America can figure it out too.
Hang in there moms and dads who are going through the same thing. Make the best of your evenings and weekends with your children! I know I will.
Born to a long line of educators, Tiffany Shawn stayed in the family lane and has been a teacher for over a decade. Through teaching, she exhibits her passion for activism by first encouraging children to read stories that are not only “mirrors”, but also “windows” (the difference being seeing yourself and your life mimicked in the story compared to learning about someone who looks and lives differently than you). She also encourages children to be upstanders and allies, when appropriate, and to tell their stories. Her passion for activism and standing up for what’s right is also portrayed in her journalistic abilities within local publications like the Saint Louis American and DELUX magazine. This mom of two is only getting started on the parenthood roller coaster with children ages two and six months…but they will definitely have a mind for activism before too long.
